Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-329 (?)
- SCP-329 is a specific room in a rundown building that contains six beds, five of which are occupied by people with advanced cancer. These individuals, designated SCP-329-01 through -05, are in constant pain and cannot speak, but their cancers progress in an unusual way, growing into bizarre, lengthy shapes that twine through their bodies without immediately killing them. Every 24 hours, the room seals itself for about 20 minutes in an event called 329-A, during which remote observation fails, only screams are heard, and the occupants' tumors are radically reshaped. If removed from the room, their cancers revert to normal progression, leading to death. The site was discovered after a group called the "Church of the Gardener" was found to be luring homeless people and subjecting them to these events, believing it was "curing" them by transforming their bodies into a "Garden."
- Liz Truss lettuce (?)
- The "Liz Truss lettuce" refers to a satirical event initiated by the British tabloid, the Daily Star, in October 2022. Following an opinion piece in The Economist that compared then-Prime Minister Liz Truss's expected short tenure to the shelf life of a lettuce, the Daily Star began a livestream featuring an iceberg lettuce next to a photograph of Truss, asking if she could outlast it. Truss resigned after just 49 days in office, becoming the shortest-serving British Prime Minister, before the lettuce had wilted, leading the Daily Star to declare the lettuce's "victory" and sparking widespread media and public amusement.